Who's up for more Tales of the Infidel?
Time for another shocking haram story! Yes, it's another horrible to the faithful installment from..........TALES OF THE INFIDEL!
-Abdullah had spent five minutes convincing the infidel woman on the White House switchboard that he meant what he said; A dirty weapon was concealed in a shipping container somewhere on the Pacific coast. A halal thrill rippled his dishdashi as a familiar voice came on the line:
-"All right, dead man, talk it up. What's all this crapola about, pardner?"
-"It is no as you say "crapola", O Bush! We of the Freedom Fighting Falange Front have secreted a dirty weapon in one of your unclean ports! We have demands!"
-"Yeah, yeah, demands, you and everybody else. Hold on, let me get something to write on. I'm in the can."
-"Can? You talk to me from the toilet? This is not respectful!"
-"Tough. You called me, remember? Hey, look whut I've got here. "Holy Koran". I'm holding it over the toilet right now."
-"Be careful, infidel! It is forbidden to defile the Holy Book!"
-"Hands are kinda slippery from that pansy hand creme Laura leaves in here. Boy, kinda hard to keep my grip; weapon's in a shipping container, ya say?"
-"Yes! Yes! Please be careful with that! The wise words of Mohammed, peace be upon him, can-"
-"Well, it'll be piss be upon him if I drop this thing in the commode. Who'd y'all address this thing to in San Francisco?"
-"Portland! It's in Portland! Addressed to a Gordon something or other! Please do not defile the-"
-"Whups! That was close! Almost sent the Tidy-Bowl man to Paradise! Which, speaking of, I think you may be disappointed in your reception there. I mean, packing 20 glow-in-the-dark Timexes into a Zoruchi rice-cooker attached to a rebuilt digital timer bought from Woot! hardly qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction, ace."
-"O dog of an unbeliever! You have found our device!"
-"Found you, too, nutsack. Don't look into the laser, you'll just die blind. Oooops! (flushing noise).
-"You pig! I'll ki-(dial tone)"
Tune in next week for more horrifying but halal........TALES OF THE INFIDEL!
-Abdullah had spent five minutes convincing the infidel woman on the White House switchboard that he meant what he said; A dirty weapon was concealed in a shipping container somewhere on the Pacific coast. A halal thrill rippled his dishdashi as a familiar voice came on the line:
-"All right, dead man, talk it up. What's all this crapola about, pardner?"
-"It is no as you say "crapola", O Bush! We of the Freedom Fighting Falange Front have secreted a dirty weapon in one of your unclean ports! We have demands!"
-"Yeah, yeah, demands, you and everybody else. Hold on, let me get something to write on. I'm in the can."
-"Can? You talk to me from the toilet? This is not respectful!"
-"Tough. You called me, remember? Hey, look whut I've got here. "Holy Koran". I'm holding it over the toilet right now."
-"Be careful, infidel! It is forbidden to defile the Holy Book!"
-"Hands are kinda slippery from that pansy hand creme Laura leaves in here. Boy, kinda hard to keep my grip; weapon's in a shipping container, ya say?"
-"Yes! Yes! Please be careful with that! The wise words of Mohammed, peace be upon him, can-"
-"Well, it'll be piss be upon him if I drop this thing in the commode. Who'd y'all address this thing to in San Francisco?"
-"Portland! It's in Portland! Addressed to a Gordon something or other! Please do not defile the-"
-"Whups! That was close! Almost sent the Tidy-Bowl man to Paradise! Which, speaking of, I think you may be disappointed in your reception there. I mean, packing 20 glow-in-the-dark Timexes into a Zoruchi rice-cooker attached to a rebuilt digital timer bought from Woot! hardly qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction, ace."
-"O dog of an unbeliever! You have found our device!"
-"Found you, too, nutsack. Don't look into the laser, you'll just die blind. Oooops! (flushing noise).
-"You pig! I'll ki-(dial tone)"
Tune in next week for more horrifying but halal........TALES OF THE INFIDEL!
posted by Sort-of-Mad Max at 8:36 PM
2 Comments:
I don't want to make a bad guess here, or offend you, but...are you white, by any chance?
"Are we awake?"
"We don't know; are we....white?"
"Yes we are."
"Then we're awake. But very, very confused."
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