"Get married at a public beach? Great! What could go wrong?"

"Sorry, Reverend, Jennifer, I think I just turned gay....."

"Hey, would somebody get that guy down there on the beach to quit yelling: 'YOU'll BE SOOOOOOORRRRY!'???"

"Hey, Reverend, is it too late to make it 'I promise to love, honor, cherish, and not become a gross sweathog?' Because it's a deal killer otherwise."

"Well, Jen, we can scratch Sea World from the honeymoon. I just saw Shamu!"

"I....I can't believe one of my ex-girlfriends would try to ruin my wedding like this!"
"I can't believe it either, Jennifer. But all those women's golf trophies in your apartment should have given me a clue....."

(thinks): "Man, People magazine was right, Britney really has let herself go!"

"I know your mother put him up to this, Jennifer, but if she thinks this will make me loan your brother the money for the rest of the operations, she's crazy!"

"Sorry. Sorry. Can we start over right before I yelled, 'NICE COWSKIN TRUNKS THERE, BOSSY!'?? It won't happen HEY, ARE YOU TOPLESS BECAUSE YOU'RE IN THE MOOOOOOOOOD? again. Sorry."

"Jennifer, I hate to break this to you, but there will be no sex on our honeymoon. Mr. Winkie has just ran up my spine and hidden behind my pancreas."