SIR, YES, SIR, MAAM.........???

Staff Sergeant Trixie's training course on "Field-Stripping Your .38's" was always extremely well attended.


"Dipwad, I told you a million times; Cosmoline is a preservative,not a lubricant . At least your zipper will never rust."

While General George Patton's 2 slapping incidents in Sicily have become notorious, the curtains of time have been mercifully drawn over the "gets pants tangled in pistol belt and boots, falls down and shoots self in weezer" affair.

"Dammit, you maggots always get everything backwards. You were supposed to pick up your gawddam socks!"

"Today's field problem is combining a frontal pincers movement with invading the enemy's rear areas. Any volunteers?"

It took a while to figure out why the Army's first female recruiting sergeant was also the highest producing recruiter in Army history. The answer was immediately classified "Top Secret Ultra".

"These are my weapons, they weigh a ton.
One is for killing, one is for fun.
You get to come over and guess which one!"

If Colonel Potter had known this was going to be Hawkeye's replacement, he'd have transfered the whiny bastard to Attu a long time ago. And would have thrown in that Trapper putz, too.


"This is a classic demonstration of how to fool your enemy; dress for land tactics, and then engage in navel manuveurs."